Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
