I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
