i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
