Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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