i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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