she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
