Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
