I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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