paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
