You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
