He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
