For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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