Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
