escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think my moral compass just broke
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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