I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
