i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Who died my cat blue again?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
