If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
