my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
