Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
