I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
