He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
