so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
