mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
