That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
