Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
third nipple confirmed
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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