As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
