He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
