I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
