I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
