why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
