Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I love you. Go after that dick
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
