Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
