Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
