Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
