if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
