Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
