Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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