the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
