at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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