hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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