Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
