okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
