She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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