I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
