well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
