Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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