It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
