I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
