He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
