so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
vagina is talking i cant
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
