that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
