Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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