This is not my ceiling
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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