When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
